Impressing Edward
by IWILLBeAVampire
Summary: All Of Lauren And Jessica's Failed Attempts To Impress Edward! Funny! Co-written by Kimmy31.
1. Chapter 1

** FULL SUMMARY:**

**Jessica And Lauren Are Forever Trying To Impress Poor Edward. They Just Dont Get The Fact That He's With Bella But What Happens When They Fail All There Attempts To Impress Him And Get Mortified? Read On To Fine Out.**

**This Was Co-Written With Kimmy32 ! So This Story Is Just As Much Hers As It Is Mine!**

**Meet You At The Bottom!**

Lauren's POV

I woke up this morning thinking today is the day! Today is the day I will get Edward to finally notice

me. As I pulled into the school parking lot I saw all the Cullen's, and Bella standing by there cars like

they do everyday. Bella was sitting on the hood of Edward's car and he was standing between her legs

kissing down her neck. I wish that was me! What does he see in her? I am so much prettier than her. I

parked my car, got out and went inside.

When it was time for P.E I was so excited because it is the one class I have with Edward. Today in P.E

we were going to be learning how to salsa dance. I couldn't wait to show him my moves. When the

music started I was swinging my hips to the music. I guess I should have paid more attention to what I

was doing because the next thing I knew I bumped into someone and we both fell to the ground. I was

so humiliated I couldn't move. I thought this couldn't get any worse, but boy was I wrong. When

everyone started laughing I looked up and realized it was Emmett I bumped into and that I fell face

down into his crotch. He just looked at me and said "hi there! Could you please remove your face from

my crotch?" To make matters worse before I could get up Rosalie had to walk into the gym and see me

face down in Emmett"s crotch. She looked at me with that death glare of hers, and says "Oh no you

didn't just put your hands on my man Skank!" I got up and ran from the gym, and I think I will be

staying home from school tomorrow.

Jessicas POV  
We Were All Waiting In Biology Waiting For to come in. Mike kept hitting on me but I was to busy staring at Edward and bella acting all lovey-dovey to hear him properly. Why would he choose her. I've been like trying to like get him to love me seince he moved here. I was prettier than her , richer than her and I have better boobs do why would he pick her!. Suddenly walked in And everybody went silent. "Ok So Before I Start Today I Just Want To Make A Quick Change, Could Bella And Jessica Swap Places Please" OMG OMG OMG it's faith ok jessica don't freak it's only Edward hot body, cute ass, god, Cullen AHHHHHHHH yep it's faith. Edward and Bella Both Looked Disappointed But Me And Mike Were EXSTACIC it was no secret he liked her to in a way we were both just using each other. Bella stood up and smiled at me quickly before I got up and we switched then Mr.B started talking ''OK class so today we will be experimenting with dry ice; So Dry Ice ...Dry ice, sometimes referred to as "Cardice" or as "card ice" is the solid form of carbon dioxide." He was boring me so i stoped listening all now I had one of the smartest people in the whole school as my partner I didn't even need to listen just wait until Lauren Hears about this she's gonna be so jealous."Jessica!" the angel called from next to me. "huh yeah what?" oh bad bad move Jessica." Are you okay you zoned out?" oh crap. "ya I'm fine" no I am not."you wanna go first?" he asked me. I looked back at bella and mike. Bella had on rubber gloves and was picking up the ice with a pair of thongs. What a whimp too scared to even touch ice. I'll show Edward I'm Brave enough to touch cold cubes unlike some people. "Ya sure I'll go first " I replied even though I didn't have a clue what we were doing. So I picked up the ice and immediately regretted it . It hurt like hell I screamed as loud as I could and the whole class started staring Edward gave me a cup of cold water to put my hand in and it really did help. I knew he cared were gonna be together forever."Miss Stanly what's wro-YOU TOUCHED IT? WERE YOU NOT LISTENING TO A WORD I SAID ? Go to the nurses office !" so maybe bella isn't THAT dumb ...****

LAURENS POV  
After waiting all day for lunch I spent half of it listening to jessica talk about how her and Bella got switched at biology and how Edward flirted with her the whole never mentioned her little trip to the nurses office but she probably didn't know the whole school had already heard."we almost kissed you know" she said proudly. Thats it I've had it with her. I stood up and slammed my chair to the table and I was about to do the unthinkable I would be the first person in history to do this and it seemed like everyone noticed because the whole cafeteria went silent and stared at me. Yes I was about to go to the Cullen table uninvited. I held my head up high and strutted over like a model when suddenly ... I realized my head was held too high because I walked straight INTO then Cullen table and face landed right in Jasper Cullens lunch I was mortified the whole cafeteria gasped then once again silence I could feel the Cullens staring at me and then ..."Hey do you think you could do that again I didn't have my camera" it was Emmett who spoke then all the Cullens burst out laughing which caused the rest of the cafeteria to join them."Don't worry Em i got it !" Alice giggled. wow it's like she knew it was gonna happen.

**Hope You Liked It! Review And You'll Get A Hug And A Cookie From Emmett (WARNING:Emmett cooked the cookies himslef)**


	2. Granny Pants

**NEW CHAPTER ! **

**WE DONT OWN TWILIGHT :(  
**

L_auren's POV_

_Tonight a group of us are going to Port Angeles to hang out and have some fun. It is going to be me,_

_Jess, Mike and Tyler. The boys want to go bowling so I guess we will be going bowling. When we_

_pulled into the parking lot of the bowling ally I noticed Edward's volvo, and Emmett's jeep. I thought_

_this is going to be great with Edward here. I can show him that a real girl knows how to have fun, and_

_be totally hot while doing it. I bet Bella can't even bowl being all clumsy and crap. When we walked in_

_I noticed all the Cullen's were here with Jasper, Rosalie, and of course Bella. Bella was sitting in_

_Edward"s lap, and he was nibbling on her ear. I wish I knew what he saw in her. She is so boring,_

_clumsy, and just plain. I am so much prettier than her, and I have a better body which Edward will_

_get to see tonight. Mike made sure that we got the lane next to them ( no doubt trying to get close to_

_Bella), and I was not going to complain because it got me closer to Edward. Mike went first I'm sure to_

_try and impress Bella, but I was to busy watching Edward bowl. The way his muscles looked while he_

_bowled was just amazing. When it was my turn I got up and grabbed a ball, and got into position. I_

_looked over my shoulder to see if Edward was watching, but of course he was making out with Bella._

_I swung my hips a bit walking up to the lane hoping Edward was watching me now. I'm not sure what_

_happened (I must have stepped to far onto the bowling lane) because the next thing I knew I fell onto_

_my butt. I was so humiliated and hoping Edward didn't just see that. What I didn't realize was that my_

_skirt got pushed up until I heard Emmett shout " HOLY CRAP LAUREN'S WEARING GRANNY_

_PANTIES!" I was so humiliated I couldn't move, Jess had to drag me off the lane. I spent the rest of the_

_time there in my chair with my head down trying to avoid the laughter, and Emmett's comments about_

_whether or not my grandma knew I was borrowing her panties. I just really wanted to go home and_

_hide for the rest of my life._

**_REVIEW FOR A JASPER HUG!_**


	3. Just Let It Out

'**New Chapter !**

**Jessica POV.**

WOW. Thats All I Have To Say After What Happened To Lauren In Front Of The Cullens Last Night. She Can Never Show Her Face In Public Again. Im Gonna Go Flirt With Edward Now. Yep Im A Rebel. I Got Out Of My Car And Saw Bella Lying On The Hood Of Emmets Jeep With Her Head On Jasper's Lap And Her Legs Resting On Emmett. She Was Talking To Rosalie And Alice But There Was No Edward (Insert Sad Emoticon Here :( Yup Thats It :) ) I Walked Over To Them Proudly And I Heard Rosalie Sigh.

**Rosalie POV.**

''Yeah Sure And We Can Do Your Hair Then'' I said to Bella as we were talking about plans for tonight because Charlie's letting her stay for the week. I love Bella so much now; shes just like a little sister to me now. Oh God Stanlys Coming. I Sighed.

**Jessica POV.**

I saw Emmett wisper something in Bellas ear she looked confused then she took her legs from his lap then sat up and slid into the driver seat Bella off of Jasper and stood up. I walked over to them with confidence. " hey guys what's up?" I asked batting my eyelashes at Jasper seince my Eddie poo ditched me. " actually Jillian we think Emmett jeep is broke around the front." OMG he talked to m- wait who's jillian ? Oh well gotta pretend I know about cars now because I will be a Cullen soon afterall."maybe I could take a look?" I asked "sure knock yourself out" jasper replied. " please do" I heard Rosalie mutter. I opened the bonnett because that's usually what they do on tv and looked at everything inside."maybe you should look closer" Jasper suggested so I did and guess what happens next? When I was real close emmett beeped the horn sending me flying back into a pile of dirt face first because I turned around then of course edward just HAS to come at that moment and everybody within a mie burst out laughing EVERYBODY! even my boyfriend edward ( k so he may not know he's my boyfriend but still ... ) after 3 and a half minutes everybody finally stopped but I could still see Emmett shaking with laughter trying to hold it went back to what they were Doin before and Edward went and kissed Bella. HOW COULD HE! oh yeah... I got up and ran as fast as I could to my car and when I looked back I heard Bella say to emmet 'let it out' then he burst out laughing. 


	4. Emmett's Looking At My Boobs

** New Chapter Laurens POV **** OMG I can't believe what happened to me at the bowling alley but bow I've ran out of excuses to why I can't go to school and now my mom says I have to back. So here I am looking sexier than ever on my way to school and I just know eddie pooh won't be able to take his eyes off me. I parked my car and put some more lipgloss on. I opened the car door and saw the cullens and that 'thing' at Alices porche so I walked over to them with confidence. "hey Edward" I said twirling my hair with my finger. He looked up at me and smirked. My plan is totally working! "hey laura?" jasper said while trying not laugh at I dont know what.(did he just call me Laura ?) Emmett was practiclly shaking with laughter."whats so funny?" I finally asked. " well..." Emmett said glancing at my boobs. I looked down only to see a bunch of tissue that I stuffed in this morning hanging out. I blushed a bella red and walked away quickly but not before I heard bella say 'emmett...' and then he exploded with laughter and I ran faster. **


	5. Just my luck

Lauren OMG why do keep embarrassing myself infront of Edward ! I decided to go get a drink from the vending machine. When I got there I saw emmett hitting his head off the side of it and Bella slapping the front of it. "come on belly bear" Emmett complained. " shut the hell up Emmey I'm trying" she snapped back. Wow she just told a Cullen to shut up! " That Hurts Belly Bean" he said while wiping fake 's with all the pet names? "hey guys what wrong" i asked becoming impatient. "no soda coming out" Bella replied "And Somebody" she said pointing her finger at Emmett " isnt really much help" she finished. "Fine You Want Me To Help" Emmett Said Getting Up From The Bench He Was On. He gave the machine one harrrrddd kick and he dented it real deep too. "There!" he said as 2 cans came out. "you couldnt have done that 15 minutes ago? Here Lauren I only want one" she said handing me the spare can. " um thanks" I said to her as I opened it. But It must have fizzed up because suddenly the whole thing exploded on my new jeans right where it looks like I peed my pants. Just then Edward walked out of the cafeteria. Just my luck. "what's taking you guys so lo- oh Lauren looks like you had an accident better get that cleaned up" he said before taking Bellas hand and waking awaybwith emmett by their side. I hate my life. 


	6. You got something on your face

I can only imagine what the Cullen's must think about me with the way I keep humiliating myself in front of them. I am going to redeem myself today and sit with them at lunch and show them that I am not the spaz they must think I am. When I walked into the lunch room I didn't see them anywhere. Where could they be? I walked out of the lunch room to go find them, and as I was walking by the door to get outside I heard loud screams and laughter. I went to go see what the noise was and there they were. It was Alice and Bella making all the noise. Alice was on Jasper's back and Bella was on Emmett's back. It looked like they were having some kind of piggy back race with each other. It looked totally fun! I wonder why Edward wasn't in on the racing. As I walked closer I heard Edward and Rosalie talking, and it sounded like Edward is planning a special night for Bella. I bet after today it will be me going on that special night and not Bella! I walked up to Edward and Rosalie and said "Hey Edward!" He said "Hey Lauren" (I knew he wanted me!) Rosalie just looked at me and said "What do you want skank?" I just ignored her, but then I heard her say "Hey Lauren I hear you have a lot of tissue with you can I borrow some? I need to blow my nose." Edward started laughing and I bet I was red in the face. I put on a big smile and asked Edward if he wanted to join the race, and if he did I could be his partner. I couldn't believe it when he turned me down! I started backing away and said "well I guess I will see ya in class!" As I was backing away I tripped on something I'm not sure what but I landed flat on my butt. Rose and my Eddie just laughed. I stood up to brush myself off just as Emmett,Jasper, Alice, and Bella showed up laughing. I brushed the seat of my pants off, and pushed my hair out of my face hoping to get out of there quick, and to not humiliate myself any further, but the Gods were not on my side today. Emmet all of a sudden crinkles up his nose, and Jasper says "What is that smell?" Then Edward looks and me trying not to laugh and says "Lauren you have something on your face" and points to my face. I guess when I fell I landed in a big pile of dog crap, and when brushing off my back side got it on my hands, and then I smeared it on my face and in my hair. They were all laughing so hard they couldn't breathe. For once I was glad Emmet couldn't say anything. I was so humiliated I just ran to the bathroom to wash as much off as I could , and then I was going home. Why does this always happen to me? Man my life sucks! 


	7. Eat some salad

Lauren's POV As I was getting ready to walk into class I saw Edward sitting in his desk talking to Emmett and Jasper. I decided I was going to go in there and talk to him, and get him to finally notice me. I marched into the classroom and went right up to Edward and said "Hi Edward!" and batted my eyelashes at him. He just looked up at me and said "Hi!". It had no affect on him I just don't get it. I decided I was going to be really brave and hop up and sit on his desk and talk to him. So that is what I did, but the desk broke as I hopped on and the desk and I went to the floor with a loud crash. I heard laughing all around me, and I was so humiliated I wanted to just crawl under a rock and die. To make matters worse Emmett just has to be in the class and he was so red from laughing so hard. Then I heard Emmett say "Need to lose a little weight do we Lauren?" I got up and ran from the room, and spent the rest of the hour in the bathroom. I bet the whole school will know of what happened by lunch time. 


End file.
